happiness

Four and a half years ago, I left a job that I loved and a city that I loved, and I moved to Universe City for a real lawyer job. I thought it was a dream job. It was the job I wanted to do, anyway. I didn't want to move to Universe City - when I moved to Gone West, it was because I was weary of moving - but I wanted that job, so I started over again. 

When I wasn't happy in Universe City, at first I blamed the town. Then I blamed a breakup. 

But three years later, back in Gone West, I still wasn't happy, so I quit my job and tried to move to the Mitten.

Back in Gone West for Round 2.5, I went back to the same work I'd been doing for almost four years. I wanted that work back. I didn't want to run a business, but it was the only way I could find on short notice to do that work and (try to) pay my bills. 

2014 was the worst year yet. I started to think that I was just not intended to be happy in this life.

It wasn't until the Major Work Event in October that I realized, walking through an unfamiliar suburb to the building where the Major Work Event was taking place, that I was done with that job. I had a very clear moment, in the cold sunshine, in which I almost heard the words aloud: "This is my last [Major Work Event]," I thought, and I knew that it was true.

I just didn't know how to make it true. 

A couple of weeks later, I met with a coworker of a friend of a friend (follow that chain, ha!) who was doing something that I had off-handedly mentioned to the friend of a friend that I might want to do, and by the time I left that networking meeting, I was determined to do what I am now doing. It took six weeks and a flurry of meetings and interviews (one week I had interviews three days in a row, and then I collapsed with exhaustion), but I found exactly what I was looking for. 

After my second day of this job, I came home beaming with happiness. 

I had forgotten that it was possible to be so effortlessly happy.