There is a jacuzzi in this house where I am house sitting, and last night I thought I'd take a little relaxing soak before bed.
I remembered that the owner of the house told me to make sure the jets were covered before I turned them on, so I let the tub fill for a while, and then I turned the jets on.
Water sprayed everywhere.
It turns out that the jets I was looking at - the jets to which she had gestured - were the ones at the front of the tub, and the ones at the back of the tub were higher on the tub wall.
I scrambled to turn off the jets, used my towel to soak up some of the water that was dripping down onto the carpet, and waited.
Finally the water was high enough, so I turned on the jets and got in.
Within a few minutes, water was again spraying everywhere.
What the what?
I realized that I had knocked the plug with my foot, and water was draining out of the tub faster than it was pouring in.
I turned the jets off again, fixed the plug, and waited.
By this time, I was already feeling a little dizzy, so I turned the hot water down and the cold water up.
When the water was high enough, I turned the jets back on, but let's be honest: I was pretty much over the jacuzzi by then.
I mopped up all the water with the towel, and then I had no towel so I put my pajamas on without drying off. Mmm, dampness. Pleasant.
I felt dizzy and crappy for a while.
This led me to google "low blood pressure hot tub" whereupon I discovered that hot tubs can cause your blood pressure to drop. Considering that my blood pressure already hovers just above weirdly low, and I get dizzy when I stand up too fast,* this may be the reason why hot tubs are never quite as awesome as I expect them to be.
Hot soaks, you and I are done.
Until the next time someone suggests hot springs or a hot tub and I forget my aversion.
* Google research also indicates that getting dizzy when you stand up too fast is supposed to happen more to younger people. I'm getting up there in age. I feel like this part of my life should be over.