what/how

Okay, I have to say, here at nearly the end of three years of law school, that I'm still not sure how I got here. I mean, I remember applying to law school, but why? I knew nothing about it. I didn't know what it involved. I didn't know the rankings. I think I was the least prepared law student ever. I applied on a whim just under the deadline. It seemed like something to do. I never actually got the acceptance letter, because I was in Rwanda and something happened to it. I just began to assume I'd gotten in from the emails I started getting. When I got here, everyone seemed to know what to expect from classes. I, on the other hand, didn't know what a tort was. I never read a "how to succeed in law school" book. I had a vague idea that professors ask you questions, whether or not you raise your hand.

But I came, and I started going to class. And I liked it, that first year. I went to a lot of speeches about justice and Africa and humanitarian intervention. I took a lot of two hour walks. And then... I'm not quite sure what happened. Life got busy. I didn't have time for the speeches. I didn't have time for walks. My hands started to hurt. I realized how academic and self-absorbed even the human rights legal world is. But I was stuck. I had invested too much to change to something else. And anyway, I do like the topics. I've taken some of the most interesting classes I can imagine and talked to some of the most interesting people.

I'm still not sure how I got here. I vaguely recall some classes and some papers, but that's about it. Now I'm about to graduate and I have to find a job and work. And don't misunderstand me - law turns out to be a fairly good fit for me. I'm just not sure how it happened.

I just realized that I put myself over $100,000 in debt for a degree that "seemed like something to do."