I really need to censor myself while writing papers

29 May 2007
2327 hrs

Paper summary:

• Due date (really, actually, finally due): Friday. Plus I’m going to Minnesota then, so it has to has to has to be done. Because I intend to read mush, beach mush, while in Minnesota.
• Format: a 15 page memo (essentially finished; just needs editing and footnote perfecting) plus 15 pages of description of why the memo says what it says.
• I thought I had 24 or almost 25 pages, but the margins turned out to be wrong on part of the paper, leaving me with only 23. But now I’ve kicked it back up to 24. It’s slow going.
• I’m writing merrily away, adding words, but the part that actually has to be there (the description of why I said what I said in the memo) is not really happening. Instead I’m just adding lovely little pieces to elaborate what the memo says. Also fine, I guess, but it leaves huge holes in the rationale. Hopefully that’s the easy part?
• I really wish I’d actually read my sources. I hear that’s good to do. Instead, I’m mostly just writing my (albeit very important) opinions. The world needs more of my opinions, anyway.
• There is a spider in my parent’s entryway (the only place we can, erm, get wireless internet, since we don’t, you know, PAY for wireless internet). It might be a VIOLIN SPIDER and bite me and kill me. I tried to kill it first but by the time I had gotten a shoe it had disappeared. It is lurking, I’m sure. My whole body is tingling, thinking it might be crawling up my leg right now. Or right now.
• I have now wasted 13 minutes on the paper summary rather than writing the paper. Also on making a list of the million things I have to do. Including calling my Aunt Lisa (Hi, Aunt Lisa! I’m going to call you soon, I promise!). I. HATE. THIS. PAPER. Although it might turn out okay in the end, when it’s done and turned in.

2349 hrs – VICTORY OVER THE SPIDER! (Or its identical twin. Hopefully the original, otherwise one is still running around in here.) Still no functional internet. Why will the internet not cooperate in my procrastination? Why, oh why?

30 May 2007
0015 hrs – One more page completed. Every once in a while, I say something in a paper that I think is simply brilliant. I mean, I just took four important works and drew a conclusion about them – that they are all trying to talk about political and social voice and power, that this is what they mean when they talk about justice and agency and the various other things they call it. I feel mad smart. Of course, I might just be totally off base. That would suck.

0021 hrs – Ergh. Ran out of elaboration. Now I have to actually get to talking about why I said what I said in the memo. Which mostly I said just because I thought it would be nice if it happened, not because I read it anywhere. I could work on finding it somewhere or explaining why I said it. Or I could write a conclusion. Now, which would be CLEARLY more fun? (Don’t answer that. There is no fun. There is no fun to be had.) Or! I could add more headings, the headings for the suggestions that I still have to explain. Much better. They take much more space.

0041 hrs – Things are bad indeed when doing sit-ups becomes a method of taking a break. And the internet hates me. It was ON when I came back from sit-ups. Then it disappeared as soon as I sat down.

0105 hrs – Why does no one put me out of my misery? I now have 27 pages. I need 30. Well, 30 without footnotes. It will be more, though. I’ve barely finished one little subsection of why I recommended what I did. And you have to figure at least a page for a conclusion. Argh. Soldiering on. Maybe I can get to 30 tonight. Or not. But look at how fast I write without internet. I wrote two pages in an hour. Normally three pages takes me an entire night, something like two hours per page. I blame the internet, completely. I hate it for disappearing, but it might be the only reason I complete this paper.

0149 hrs – Just to say: That previous spider was an identical twin. Or maybe one of many. I just had to kill another one, which appeared from UNDER THE DESK. THEY ARE OUT TO GET ME.

0200 hrs – I just read something on the (randomly functional) internet, which inspired me to say the following: Let no one fool you about law school. Yes, it’s a lot of work. Yes, the professors call on you at random and ask questions to which no one knows the answers except the people who printed out someone’s word-for-word notes from last year. Yes, you will stay up late agonizing over papers and the final exam on which your entire grade rests. Yes, you will be so tired at the end that you want to sleep for a year and a half. But, people. Let’s not exaggerate. It’s not THAT bad. It’s not worth all the parodying that gets done of it. You can come from a quiet Midwestern school and drop into a ridiculously high-ranked law school in New York and have no idea what you are getting into and you will be fine. FINE.

There’s this thing about lawyers. They want everyone to think they had to suffer to get where they are – that law school was like some horrible hazing exercise that they barely survived. How else would the profession be kept all elitist? How else would they keep out the riff-raff and {gasp} POOR PEOPLE? Really? It’s like a lot of school. It’s a step up from college, for sure. But clearly you want a step up, or you wouldn’t be there. So stop acting like you survived something no one else could. I think everyone should go to law school, or at least a year of it. You learn so much about how things work.

I’m still going to read the book, of course. And if I’d thought of it, I would totally have written it myself. Only differently.

0221 hrs – This procrastination blogging is now so long that I should break it into sections for readability. Or just go to bed. I vote for number 2. G’night.