naturally

My fundamental problem with getting up at 5:30 am is that it directly conflicts with my circadian rhythm. My body wants to go to bed at midnight and get up at 9 or 10 am. I can neither fall asleep at 9:30 p.m. nor wake up at 5:30 a.m. I am forcing my body to go against its nature.

I keep hoping that my body will eventually re-set to this schedule. I even set an alarm on the weekend - 9:30 on Saturday and 8 on Sunday - so that I wouldn't sleep so late that I couldn't sleep on Sunday night. 

Of course, that just meant that I made up virtually none of my missing sleep over the weekend.

I have learned one thing, which is to do as much as possible in the evening. I take a shower at night now, so I can just brush my hair and go in the morning. I have my lunch ready in the fridge as I type. It helps, a little. It keeps me from being late to my carpool, anyway.

Despite the fact that I cannot sleep at night and I cannot wake up in the morning, when someone said, yesterday, "You must hate the commute," I realized that I don't. The early mornings, the hour of driving, often in the rain, in a car full of people with opinions (we all have opinions), it's all worth it to wake up in the morning and not dread going to work. That, right there, is beautiful.