skip

I skipped going to jits tonight, because what was happening was a belt promotion. During a belt promotion, everyone sits in a big circle and takes turns rolling with the promoted one, and here are some things about that:

1. While I will happily talk in front of a large or small group of people about anything at any time, for some reason rolling in front of a group of people pretty much paralyzes me. Possibly because I am an expert talker, but a novice martial artist.
2. Because I am, in this situation, always the lower belt level (these promotions only happen with blue belts and above), I always have to start standing up, and my guard passing is abysmal, and this is embarrassing.
3. I find sitting cross-legged really uncomfortable, particularly when it goes on for an hour.
4. I know, I KNOW that I should be supporting the people being promoted, because I will hopefully one day be in their shoes, and I will be glad of the support, but I worked for 12 hours yesterday and 11 hours today, and the only reason I drag myself to martial arts in this state of exhaustion is for the exercise, and I knew that I would just sit there watching the clock and thinking desperately about how I was missing sleep and not even getting any exercise. The people being promoted do not need that kind of negativity. 

So I'm at home. When I arrived here, I realized that I had also forgotten that I scheduled a Spanish conversation on skype at 7 pm. I realized this around, oh, 7:40. I felt bad. I messaged the grandpa in Guatemala, but he was no longer around.

And now it is 9:25 pm. My teeth are brushed. My face is washed. I am ready to sleep, and I need it.