tenterhooks

Tenterhooks.

That's a word, right? I know that it is, but it looks all wrong.

I am on tenterhooks right now. My life is on tenterhooks right now. There have been only a few times in my life when everything could change so suddenly but I wasn't sure how: at the end of college, when I got the call about Rwanda, when I left Rwanda, at the end of law school, when I packed up and moved to Gone West.

This is the world wide internet, and of course there are so many things that can't be said here.

"Which option would make you happy?" my dad asked, or something similar.

The truth is that none of the options offers unalloyed joy. This is what happens when you live your life in so many places: every place keeps a piece of your heart. There are always people to miss. 

I am relieved that the options are not completely under my control.

Something will happen. Something will be, and I will be glad for what it brings, and sad for everything it leaves behind.