24 April 2009

(splutter, mutter, grumble)

Yesterday morning, when I woke up, one of my eyes (the left) looked like someone had punched me. Except without the discoloration. So, swollen. I could barely open my eye. The swelling went down after a while and I looked again like an un-punched human being, except maybe a little more tired than usual. I didn't think much of this, because there was some suspiciously hormonal weeping that occurred around bedtime the night before.

This morning, when I woke up, one of my eyes (the right) looked like someone had punched me. Except without the discoloration. There had been no suspiciously hormonal weeping the night before.

I occasionally manage to make logical deductions from the facts, and the one I have drawn goes like this:

pollen + (sinus headache that gets worse when I go outside for any length of time) + itchy eyes + scratchy throat + swollen eyes + (extreme weariness by 7 pm) + (constantly running nose) =

%$#&^ (splutter, mutter, grumble)

(Don't you think I should be a doctor? I am so good at diagnosing things. Actually, many people recently have told me I should be a doctor, and I tell them that they are right. I should have gone to medical school. Law school was a mistake. If I win the lottery, I will go to medical school. In between trips around the world.)

Anyway, back to my ALLEGED allergies. I am personally offended by this. I do not travel the world, exposing myself to various scary tropical diseases, just to be allergic to the Pacific Northwest. There are real things to fight off in this world, and POLLEN is not one of them. This is an utter waste of an immune system. I'll show you Things To Fight Off, silly body of mine.

Up until yesterday, I was hoping that the sniffling-sneezing-achy head (so you can rest) - oh, wait, that's a cold medicine - the general allergy-like symptoms were going to be reduced this year, as my body got used to the grass/pollen/etc. here. Last year, though, I never woke up with my eyes swollen shut. I guess that's a bad sign.

Apparently I am not meant to live in the grass-seed capital of the world. At least, not without serious pharmaceutical intervention. Good to know. I think I shall apply for jobs in Africa.

I was already doing that, actually. The fact that I'm not allergic to Africa is just an additional benefit.

...

Do you see this farmland? I'm not allergic to it.

(Itabire, Rwanda; 2003)

I am ALSO not allergic to these calla lilies growing wild:

(Gikongoro, Rwanda; 2003)

Furthermore, I am not allergic to this grass or these impatiens:

(Elsewhere, Southern Sudan; 2007)

I might be allergic to that spelling, though.

It makes me want to temper with those flowers, even if I'm not exactly sure how one tempers with flowers.

On second thought, I don't think I do want to temper with the flowers. They might win.

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