20 November 2008

[20] seriously brilliant

I hadn't noticed it sneaking up on me, but it came. The days got shorter and shorter - it's dark when I wake up and dark when I leave work - and there are no longer sunny lunch hours in the park. Even noon is gloomy and rainy, and I hide from the sky under my cheerful blue umbrella. 

My mood did the same. Soon it was gloomy more often than not, and I could rarely get myself off my couch to go to evening events. They seemed like a good idea during the day, but then the sun set before I'd even left the office and I gave up on going anywhere in the evening dark and cold. Little things seemed bigger than necessary, and brought on tears. 

Then my friend J. gave me a mood light. I used it yesterday morning for the first time. I sat in front of the blue glow for 30 minutes, trying not to look in its direction but not look directly at it so as to blind myself. 

It's actually sort of shocking. I can't make any blanket statements yet, because I have only used the thing for two days and it could simply be a fluke, but it is actually difficult to feel unhappy after sitting in front of that light. I think about things that would have made me sad three days ago, and I just don't feel it. I'm still happy. Happy skippy happy. 

The little rows of blue lights apparently work like the sun, through your eyes and into your brain, ramping up the production of dopamine or serotonin or some lovely brain chemical. J. warned me not to use it for too long. "You'll feel giddy," he said. So far, no giddy, but lots of happy. This light therapy thing is brilliant. Just seriously brilliant.

No comments: