I've been trying really hard to enjoy this time in Michigan, spending days with my mom, doing all the normal life things that I missed in New York. This place is a part of me, after all. I didn't realize how much until I was released from the pressure and concrete of New York back into this green jungle of Michigan summer. I've been slowly recovering from law school, healing myself with sleep and conversation and Scrabble and exercise and fresh vegetables.
Example: when I drove back from New York in May, I had the road rage. Every time someone did something stupid, I started muttering, "Idiot," and worse.
Now I shrug and think, "That was stupid," and I maybe change the radio station.
On the highway a few days ago, I started thinking about the title of Dan Eldon's book, The Journey is the Destination. I like that phrase. I've used it before for various things. But I don't know that I really thought about it as I used it. I liked it. I liked the sound of it and I had a vague idea that it was probably a good thing. While driving mindlessly along I-94 last week, I started thinking about that moment: stiff, tired, bored with the passing scenery, unable to find a radio station playing the songs I wanted to hear. It was sort of tempting to think, "This? This is the destination? This moment? What if I don't like this moment all that much?"
There have been a lot of moments in the last three years that I haven't liked all that much. I often looked ahead and hoped things would be better later.
But I'm sick of that. This moment, right here, is the destination. I have carrot-ginger soup simmering on the stove and yeasty rolls rising on the back burners. My mom and I made them from scratch, to feed ourselves and my dad and my grandmas, who are coming for dinner and Scrabble.
The journey is the destination.
...
That said, I leave on Wednesday for East Africa.
Example: when I drove back from New York in May, I had the road rage. Every time someone did something stupid, I started muttering, "Idiot," and worse.
Now I shrug and think, "That was stupid," and I maybe change the radio station.
On the highway a few days ago, I started thinking about the title of Dan Eldon's book, The Journey is the Destination. I like that phrase. I've used it before for various things. But I don't know that I really thought about it as I used it. I liked it. I liked the sound of it and I had a vague idea that it was probably a good thing. While driving mindlessly along I-94 last week, I started thinking about that moment: stiff, tired, bored with the passing scenery, unable to find a radio station playing the songs I wanted to hear. It was sort of tempting to think, "This? This is the destination? This moment? What if I don't like this moment all that much?"
There have been a lot of moments in the last three years that I haven't liked all that much. I often looked ahead and hoped things would be better later.
But I'm sick of that. This moment, right here, is the destination. I have carrot-ginger soup simmering on the stove and yeasty rolls rising on the back burners. My mom and I made them from scratch, to feed ourselves and my dad and my grandmas, who are coming for dinner and Scrabble.
The journey is the destination.
...
That said, I leave on Wednesday for East Africa.
2 comments:
wednesday? what? what? *sobbing* if you forget the almond tin DJ and i will never forgive you. put it in your suitcase NOW. literally, get up from the computer at this moment and go get it. and. put. it. in. the. suitcase.
WAOH! WED??? So, you have managed to leave before me? Who knew you would leave the states so soon? THAT was too fast! Happy for you though...glad that you will finally leave your parent's house to do some more field work in Africa. I am sure the best is yet to come for the both of us in our pursuits...
Best wishes and we shall continue to be in touch.
Rhemy
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