procras... what?

30 March 2007
1955 hrs
Paper is at 4.5 pages and by Sunday night (or Monday, I guess) it has to be 20. NO PROBLEM. Right? Right? I’m making little goals. Baby steps. The current goal is to get onto the 6^th page and then make some teeeeeee! In my new mug. Which is a travel mug but it’s new, so I’m going to use it. It is pretty and has shiny pink flowers and a pink lid and a chick and a bunny. But no bees. I wanted bees, apparently, because I made them up this morning when describing the mug. Maybe I could buy some shiny bee stickers and put them on there.

2040 hrs
I accidentally took a little break before I got onto the 6^th page because my stomach got all annoyed with life. And then I washed some dishes. So no tea until I’m on page 7. I am the most scatter-brained paper-writer in the entire world. I read in the NYTimes that when you switch tasks you lose concentration because you can’t get back on track fast enough. I lose a lot of time when writing papers, because my brain skips around and if I don’t go write what I just thought of down in the section where it belongs I’ll probably forget it. But it doesn’t make the process flow all that well.

2304 hrs
Today’s goal is met. On the 9^th page. Oh the joy of S having gotten a movie that I want to watch.

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31 March 2007
1431 hrs
Just getting started again. It’s amazing how much time the internet can waste. Fortunately, I don’t get wireless in my bedroom, so I have retired there to my desk and music. I am on my second cup of tea in my travel mug and every time I look at it I feel happy. My favorite part is the word sunshine. That and the pink. When I was younger I was very anti-pink because I thought it was too girly, but now I have embraced my girlie-ness. But clearly not my paper-writing.

I just want this semester DONE. I can’t do law school anymore. I’ve burnt out on it. I used to like things and people and now I have this simmering irritation constantly just under the surface, ready to burst out at any time against sales clerks (“We don’t do cash back.” “EVERY pharmacy does cash back!” “We have an atm instead.” Because atms charge $1.50 to get money.) or slow people on the sidewalk (MUST you meander back and forth across it so I can’t pass you?) because I’m at the very end of my tolerance for this city and this law school thing. The only things that are keeping me sane are the weather and Africa blogs and the baby. The weather lately has been stunning and long walks in the sunshine with the baby are pretty much the only thing rejuvenating me enough to keep me from dropping out of school every single day.

Notes from crim pro, to prove that big words are all you get from law school:

(focus on invocation)… invocation of 6A right is offense specific… no persuasive distinction… in response to adverse interrogation… interpositional role of counsel… analogous re. 5A… question is whether primary emphasis should be compulsion… voice exemplars… relevancy, admissibility, specificity… thwarting grand jury investigation with interlocutory appeals… quashed… not adjudicative or adversarial… substantial exculpatory evidence…

The question really is: ARE YOU KIDDING ME? That’s all from one day of class. No, it doesn’t make sense to me, either, but in a month I’ll have taken an exam on it and theoretically be knowledgeable.

Must. Finish. Paper.

Two pages and then a break for lunch.

1917 hrs
Getting nothing done. I’m only on page 12. I wanted to be to 18 by tonight but likelihood? Maybe not so good. I keep getting distracted by the New Yorker and the half-functional internet and the desire to do anything, ANYTHING other than write this paper. I play with the cat. I do wrist stretches. I get water. Anything. This paper is massively boring. I pity the professor who has to read it.

2040 hrs
The pain, the pain.

2324 hrs
Reading about how little is known about Liberia’s biodiversity. Flora, insects, amphibians, ARACHNIDS, gastropods or other animal species. I HATE SPIDERS. Did I mention that Liberia has spiders bigger than my palm? Ew. Ew. Ew. In Rwanda the people before me left a can of Doom, the bug spray, and I never bought a new one. I just never needed it. (Also noticed in a photo that my hair was straight there. Less humidity.)

In Liberia, I am going to have to keep one huge can of it next to my bed. You know how much of that stuff you need to kill a spider the size of my palm? A lot. Then you can watch it seize up and actually witness what the spray does to the nervous system. Reminder to self: don’t breathe it.