caramelization

My friend PH. tells me that she can carmelize onions in 10 minutes. 

I am floored.

It takes me an entire evening. If I want to carmelize onions, I have to plan my whole day around it, practically. Everything outside of the kitchen must be completed in time to spend two hours carefully tending the pan full of onions. I turn on music and play around online, but I am constantly on guard regarding my precioussssssss.

And then the whole thing risks ruin anyway, because I could eat the entire panful of perfectly carmelized treasures in one go. Straight up. Alone. Neither food nor human accompaniment needed.