again

Again with the late night and the lights, but this time not alone. The baby went to bed hours ago, and T. and I are talking through the big and little issues of life: friendships and economics and, of course, boys.

We've been doing this for almost fifteen years, since the days when we led bible studies in the dorm together.

Sitting here now, we can't quite remember what we talked about then. There were seldom boys in the picture. (I don't know why; we were hot!) We talked, back then, about our families, our classes, our ideas, our life crises. We think. We talked about justice.

We've come a long way since then. We are wiser and calmer.

And yet, we've lost something, too. We've lost the simplicity that these issues used to have, and the earnestness with which we addressed them.

I'm not sure whether that is a net gain or loss, but I also don't think I would go back.