The times when I most miss being in Liberia are not when things are going well there. When things are going well in Liberia, I am mostly content to live in State of Happiness, if not in Universe City, because I know that things are generally improving in Liberia, and so it's fine that I'm not there.
When, as now, there are problems in Liberia, even problems so very much smaller than what has gone before, the distance hurts. It feels like I should be there. Why, I don't know. I can't do anything. I can't fix anything. It's just that, well, I left. I left, and I've talked about this before, and I was ten, and I didn't have a choice.
But still, now, I feel like I should be there, because I can. I can, but I'm not. And that feels like a betrayal.
I'm here, and I have to be here, but I will not be here forever.
I will not give that up forever.
When, as now, there are problems in Liberia, even problems so very much smaller than what has gone before, the distance hurts. It feels like I should be there. Why, I don't know. I can't do anything. I can't fix anything. It's just that, well, I left. I left, and I've talked about this before, and I was ten, and I didn't have a choice.
But still, now, I feel like I should be there, because I can. I can, but I'm not. And that feels like a betrayal.
I'm here, and I have to be here, but I will not be here forever.
I will not give that up forever.
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