22 June 2008

bonbons and stately old homes

Weell. I am doing a bit of eating of the bonbons. It's positively annoying not to be able to be mad at someone when you end things with them. I can't be mad because the ending conversation was so very honest and gentle from both ends (honest and gentle! my mantras!). Also full of affection, which is not one of my mantras because you can't force affection, but it's a nice addition. Plus, you know, I haven't even lived here that long, so it's hard to be at a point of being COMPLETELY DEVASTATED when you haven't known a person that long. So fine. I have another friend, and he is a really great guy. Life is bittersweet right now.

There is this neighborhood not far from my building that makes me crave, I don't know, grassy yards and open staircases and comfy sofas and tire swings dangling from big trees. I ambled through it today and it was practically inspiration to plop myself into a well-paying, soul-deadening lawyer job so that I can buy one of those rambling old houses surrounded by ancient oak trees. At the same time, I saw photos online yesterday of the project I worked on in Liberia two years ago, and I can still hear a part of me screaming, "You are in the wrong place! You should have been there!" So yes. Once a third culture kid, always torn between continents. Life is bittersweet right now.

No comments: