day 18 :: all over tingly

I may not make sense right now. I’m writing under the side effects of Biltricide, which is the anti-bilharzias medication. It sounds like I’m deliberately taking a pesticide, though. In fact, it is a trematodicide. It kills trematodes. The doctor in Nairobi told me that it might have strange side effects, and it does. Side effects like I can feel my skin, all of it, and all of it tingling. It’s not really a sensation that I ever expected to feel.


I’ve been strangely excited ever since I got this medication, though. I’ve been looking forward to taking it. Not for the side effects, obviously, although they might be sought by those who like the slightly drunken feeling (I’m not supposed to drive on this stuff), but because I’m so very eager to be rid of a life-shortening disease. I may, in fact, be expecting too much out of it. I’m expecting a lot. I’m expecting to feel great by tomorrow morning. That might not quite be realistic. Maybe, though? Maybe? Just a little more energy? I generally have none, none at all. I cannot tell you how many times I’ve made the doctor test my thyroid, because it just doesn’t seem possible to be this tired all the time, including on the days when I’ve slept until I could sleep no longer. (Yes, stress and law school might have impacted this. Still.)

The other excitement of the day is as follows:

This is Wilbur. He came to me via an unexpected bonus from a company I did some work for in New York. I didn’t think I could afford a replacement for Wallace, but this check came and rather than save it for something important like, oh, an apartment in my new city, I went directly to a box store in a strip mall and came home with Wilbur. Priorities, people. Really, nothing can replace Wallace. I still miss him for all his loveliness. But I’m sure I will come to love Wilbur in his own right.

Dizzy. Very dizzy. Going off to lie down and be dizzy in peace.