thinkin'

I'm just wondering. At what point does:

(wrist surgery + second wrist surgery possibly needing pins and a three month cast because worse than previous ligament tear for which you had surgery + fact that during recovery for first surgery you are hurting worse wrist more and more because it is all you have + doctor telling you to stay close enough for fixing of possible pin problems + need for occupational therapy)

+

(not having any money + need to fundraise in some time you don't have + no plane ticket + no idea where you will live or what you will do in Liberia)

+

(three exams + a final self-evaluation + a semester of which you remember little because you were so busy trying to fix your wrists and babysit enough to pay bills including medical bills + no notes for the semester because your wrist hurt when you typed or wrote + just having had surgery + being too tired to think possibly still from surgery and after-effects + both wrists still hurting all the time)

+

(almost four years of having more to do at every given moment than you possibly ever get done)

=

giving something up?

(assuming Please Excuse My Dear Aunt Sally from seventh grade math)

And, I'm scared to ask - what would I give up? I think I know the second answer, at least, and it is the last thing I want to lose.