new york today

I accidently tarmacked the bottom of my shoe today. After an entire year of covering a large hole in the road with a piece of very slippery metal that I slipped on every time it a) rained or b) snowed (ie. for most of a New York winter), the City of New York suddenly chose five minutes before I needed to walk over it to re-tarmac the hole. Five minutes later, sweetly oblivious, I walked over it and tarmacked the bottom of my shoe. Scraping and poking at the sole did no good - I think the holes in the rubber sole are permanently full of tar.

Later I had a breakdown about housing because I got done with a dinner at 9 pm and have to be back at school at 9 am and I realized that all year my commute will be an hour a day and I don't think I can take it. It's stressing me out but good. I would go back to the dorms but if I do that, I will literally have about $100 to spend on food and clothing and subways for the semester. I'm still having a breakdown about it, actually.

I hate money and I hate it that you have to have it to get an education. It's another example of the world's injustice - and I'm not even that moneyless compared to a lot of people. But already I feel trapped.